When investigators finally managed to sit down with Tom Phillips’ three children, what they heard was not the usual chatter of kids recounting games, schools, or friendships. Instead, their testimonies carried an unsettling weight—simple words spoken with innocence, but layered with fear. One phrase stood out above all: “Daddy said we can’t talk to anyone.”
It was more than just a father’s instruction. It was a command that defined their entire childhood. For years, these children lived off the grid, hidden from society, and taught to see the outside world as a threat. Meals were scavenged or improvised, nights were spent in cold and shifting shelters, and trust was limited to one man—the father who had chosen to take them into hiding.
A Childhood Without Freedom
Unlike other kids their age, Tom Phillips’ children never had the luxury of stability. Their days were dictated not by school bells or sports practice, but by constant movement and a lingering sense of danger. The testimonies reveal that laughter was often muted, curiosity suppressed, and friendships forbidden. To survive meant to remain invisible.
“Dad said we can’t trust anyone,” one child reportedly told authorities, their tone matter-of-fact rather than fearful. But that very matter-of-factness is what chills: they had normalized a life of isolation, secrecy, and control.
The Psychological Toll
Child psychologists reviewing their statements warn of the long-lasting scars such an upbringing can cause. Living under secrecy and control at such formative ages may lead to difficulties in trust, emotional regulation, and even identity. To be raised believing the world is an enemy—and that speaking out could lead to punishment—creates deep internal conflicts.
Even in the safe environment of interviews, the children reportedly glanced at one another before answering questions, as if silently checking for approval or fearing they might say too much.
Love or Control?
Supporters of Phillips argue he believed he was protecting his children from a system he distrusted. Yet the testimonies suggest otherwise: it was not love but control that shaped their lives. A father’s love is meant to nurture independence and safety; instead, his instructions silenced them, turning their innocence into tools for secrecy.
A Society Watching Closely
For New Zealand, the testimonies have added fuel to the ongoing debate: how could a father, already branded “a monster” by officials, have managed to stay hidden with his children for so long? And now that the children are slowly opening up, what responsibility does society bear in helping them rebuild trust in the world around them?
The Road Ahead
The children’s words may sound simple, but they force a reckoning. Behind their testimonies lies a heartbreaking truth: these kids were robbed of normal childhoods, turned into shadows in their own land. Healing will take years—perhaps a lifetime—but it begins with giving them back the voices their father tried to silence.
The haunting phrase lingers: “Daddy said we can’t talk to anyone.” Now, the world must listen to what they finally dare to say.