Athena Strand.Credit : Wise County Sheriff’s Department

NEED TO KNOW

Athena Strand, 7, was kidnapped from her driveway on Nov. 30, 2022, when a FedEx driver delivered a Christmas present to her house
The driver, Tanner Horner, 34, killed Athena in his truck and dumped her body in a nearby river
On Wednesday, his mother testified about the admitted killer’s fraught upbringing and her own as jurors weigh whether he should be sentenced to death or life without parole

Tanner Horner’s mother broke down in court as she testified about her history with drug use, childhood abuse and the guilty she now carried after her son admitted to killing 7-year-old Athena Strand

As PEOPLE previously reported, Horner, 34, pleaded guilty on April 7 to capital murder and aggravated kidnapping in the death of the first-grader. Now jurors are weighing whether to sentence him to life in prison without parole or to death.

On Wednesday, Horner’s mother appeared emotional on the stand and requested that she be blurred on camera, per NBC DFW reporting.

Amanda McCoy/Star-Telegram via AP,

“I’m wearing my shame like a badge right now,” she said, per the outlet.

She described a troubled upbringing, saying she dropped out of high school around ninth grade and struggled with addiction for years.

“I don’t remember having dreams,” she said on the stand. “I didn’t have a good childhood.”

She testified that she was abused by her stepfather as a child — saying that he first “tried to have sex with [her]” when she was just four. To cope, she explained, she turned to drugs and alcohol, using substances including meth and heroin. She said she worked as a stripper for nearly a decade.

Juan Figueroa/The Dallas Morning News via Getty

“I wish I hadn’t. I really wish I hadn’t,” she said.

She told the court she was using drugs and alcohol “pretty heavily, enough to get cirrhosis,” until about eight and a half weeks into her pregnancy — though she continued smoking.

Horner’s mother also testified about her relationship with Tanner’s now-deceased father, Terry, telling jurors they met when she was 17 and he was 29. She alleged that he raped her the night they met.

“The first night we met, he raped me,” she said, describing how he invited her to his room and later knocked her unconscious after she resisted his advances, according to NBC DFW.

She said she later married Terry and that he did not hit her again until she chose to leave him.

She described raising Horner and his brother while moving in and out of rehab facilities and recalled moments that illustrated the instability of their home life:

“I nodded out one time, on the toilet,” she said. “Tanner came in. He was just a little guy, and, he thought I was dead.”

She said that she began to notice early on that he was different than other children.

Wise County Sheriff’s Department

“They always kind of treated him for something he didn’t have,” she said.

After a “rigorous” six-week testing period, she said, he was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Now, she told the court, she is grappling with what her son has done.

Tanner Horner is interviewed by police.Court TV/Youtube

When asked about how she feels about him today, she said, “I’m so mad at him.”

Horner’s mother became upset when she was asked if she still loved her son, per the outlet, prompting Judge George Gallagher to call for a brief recess.

“Of course I love my son,” she told the court. “I don’t love who did that, though.”

Prosecutors are seeking the death penalty in Horner’s case, and previously presented graphic evidence to jurors, including audio, video and photos shown in court, per previous PEOPLE reporting.

Athena Strand’s Devastating Last Moments

In court on Thursday, April 16, jurors were shown video footage and heard disturbing audio recordings of the little girl’s last moments alive.

Jurors saw how moments after Horner dropped off a package at Athena’s house on Nov. 30, 2022, he opened the doors in the back of his truck, lifted her up and then put her inside, NBC DFW and the Star-Telegram report.

“What are you doing?” the little girl was heard asking him in video shown to jurors, the two outlets report. “Are you a kidnapper?”

Seen kneeling on the floor of the truck while holding onto the sides of the doorway leading to the cargo area, Athena asked Horner, “Where are we going?” the Star-Telegram reports.

“It doesn’t matter,” he replied.

He told her to sit down and be quiet or else he would hurt her.

NBC DFW/YouTube

Athena Strand Talked to Kidnapper About Her School and Teacher. Then She Realized Something Was Wrong

Jurors Sob as Athena Strand Asks Killer Heartbreaking Question from the Back of His FedEx Truck

At this point, he covered the camera inside the truck, NBC DFW reports. But audio of what went on inside was still being recorded.

Horner then asked Athena how old she was, and about her school.

The conversation took a sickening turn when he said, “You’re really pretty, you know that?”

After the truck stopped, Horner ordered Athena to take off her shirt. She could be heard saying “no,” and telling him she wanted her mother, NBC DFW reports.

Jurors then heard sounds of banging and choking and Athena screaming and crying, the Star-Telegram reports.

Some jurors were crying when they heard what was happening to the little girl, NBC DFW reports. Her parents left before the video began.

Athena, who stayed calm during her abduction and had the wherewithal to question her abductor, fought back when Horner was attacking her, prosecutors said, according to the Star-Telegram and NBC DFW.

The medical examiner said she died from blunt force trauma, smothering and strangulation.

Her naked body was found on Dec. 2, 2022, in the nearby Trinity River.