More than three decades after the murder that shocked Britain, Denise Fergus — mother of two-year-old James Bulger — has opened up in a powerful new Channel 5 documentary, revealing the lifelong emotional scars that the tragedy left on her family.

James was abducted and killed in 1993 by two ten-year-old boys in Liverpool — a crime that horrified the world and changed British law forever. For years, Denise has spoken publicly about her fight for justice and her efforts to protect James’s memory. But in this new film, she allows viewers a rare glimpse into the private pain that has haunted her family behind closed doors.

Through tears, Denise admits she still lives with crushing guilt. “I shouldn’t have let go of him,” she says, referring to the moment she lost sight of her little boy at the Bootle shopping centre. “Not a day passes that I don’t replay that second in my head.”

Now, 32 years later, she reveals how that moment continues to shape her life — and the lives of her three younger sons, who have grown up under the shadow of their brother’s murder. Denise shares heartbreaking details: the empty chair at Christmas dinners, the stories she told her children to protect them from the truth, and the constant questions that can never be answered. “Would he be married now? Would he be a dad?” she wonders aloud. “It’s the not knowing that hurts the most.”

The documentary also explores how the case impacted those beyond the family. Former detectives who worked on the investigation speak candidly for the first time about the emotional weight they carried, admitting that the images and details from the case have stayed with them for life. One officer describes it as “the case that broke us all.”

For viewers, the film serves as both a tribute and a reckoning — a reminder that time does not erase the pain of loss, and that healing often means learning to live with unanswered questions.

As the nation once again confronts the tragedy of James Bulger’s murder, Denise’s words cut deeper than ever: a mother’s eternal grief, still searching for peace, still keeping her son’s memory alive through strength, honesty, and love that never fades.