‘SNL’ Cold Open: Jeffrey Epstein’s Ghost Gives ‘Dear Friend’ Trump Some Bad News

SNL host Will Ferrell plays dead child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, who comes to Donald Trump during an Oval Office dream

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NBC/SNL

On the Season 51 finale of Saturday Night Live, the ghost of dead child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein delivered some bad news to his “dear friend” Donald Trump: they will forever be linked, no matter what the president does to try to distract Americans.

Epstein (SNL host Will Ferrell) comes to the 79-year-old president in a dream during a midday Oval Office slumber, and the two proceed to do some catching up.

When Trump (James Austin Johnson) informs him that his approval rating is in the 30s, Epstein is disgusted.

“The 30s—gross!” he says. “Call me when it hits 17.”

Trump then asks how Epstein, in tattered, bloody clothes and a chain around his neck, is enjoying heaven. Epstein replies that it’s “really, really hot,” adding that he plays “Mahjong every Wednesday with Stalin and John Wayne Gacy.”

Epstein, who has the ability to show visions of the future, provides several about some of Trump’s current and former administration members. In six months, former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem (Ashley Padilla) will be on the Home Shopping Network hawking a “shark wand vaccuum cleaner.”

Meanwhile, Defense Secretary Pete Hegesth (Colin Jost) at first appears to be pouring liquor down the drain, except it’s actually going into giant beer bong to be consumed by FBI Director Kash Patel (Aziz Ansari), who shills his own liquor. “A smell so strong it’ll cross your eyes,” he says. Hegseth plugs his own product: Poland Sprung, or “hard water.”

Epstein, who reveals the U.S. “came in second” in its war against Iran, then turns to Trump with a hard truth.

The Saturday Night Live Season 51 finale featured Will Ferrell, as Jeffrey Epstein’s ghost, visiting President Donald Trump at the White House a la Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol.

For the Saturday, May 16 cold open, Trump (James Austin Johnson), fresh off his trip to China to meet with President Xi Jinping, showed Vice President JD Vance (Jeremy Culhane) the souvenirs he brought back. They included massively swollen legs from traveling abroad as a 79-year-old, a Chinese finger trap from Xi (Trump gave him Taiwan in exchange), and a gold bar from Switzerland as a “straight-up bribe.” As the POTUS rested his head on the gold bar, using it as a pillow to “sleep the sweet sleep of an addled jet-lagged mind” during one of his “patented mid-work naps.”

That’s when Ferrell, as the ghost of Epstein — who died by suicide in prison in 2019, while awaiting trial for federal child sex trafficking charges — started rattling chains and yelling Trump’s name.

“Don’t worry, Donald, it’s me, your best friend, Jeffrey Epstein,” he exclaimed.

To that, Trump pointed out, “Jeffrey? But I thought you were dead.”

“I am, remember? I killed myself, wink!” the ghost of Epstein said.

When Trump complained that his approval rating is in the 30s, Epstein replied, “Gross, call me when it hits 17.”

The POTUS then asked him how heaven was, to which Epstein answered, “It’s really, really hot. But you know me, I keep busy. Mahjong every Wednesday with Stalin and John Wayne Gacy… Oh, I just wrote for the Kevin Hart roast. Had some fun zingers in there.”