SHE was the Aussie psychologist who brought glamour and grit to one of the most popular TV dating shows of all time.

Mel Schilling, who has died aged 54, was the lead relationship expert on Married At First Sight in both the UK and Australia.

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Mel Schilling has tragically died aged 54Credit: Instagram

 

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Her husband Gareth released an emotional tribute on InstagramCredit: Instagram
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Their beloved daughter Maddie was born in November 2015Credit: Instagram/mel_schilling1
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Mel with her familyCredit: Instagram
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Mel hid her health battle from MAFS fansCredit: Eroteme
The mum of one was straight-talking, big-hearted and tough: when she was diagnosed with colon cancer at the end of 2023 she nicknamed her tumour “Terry” and powered on.

Viewers had no idea she was sometimes in excruciating pain during filming, or suffering terribly from the side-effects of chemotherapy: “There were definitely times when I came off set and I was in tears, or I was vomiting. It was hard.”

But, as the fan favourite said: “One of the things about me is, I am an eternal optimist.”

Mel went into remission, and celebrated with champagne.

But in December 2025 she learned the cancer was back.

On March 12, 2026, the love expert revealed doctors had told her there was nothing more they could do.

She wrote on Instagram: “My light is starting to fade – and quickly.  But I am still here, still fighting, and surrounded by the most incredible love.”

Melanie Schilling was born in Melbourne in April 1972.

Dad Paul was a policeman and mum Beth was a florist, but from her earliest years Mel wanted a more glamorous future: “I just wanted to be famous.”

Aged eight she even told a surprised teacher: “When I grow up, I want to be a Big M girl.”

These were models in TV adverts for an Aussie flavoured milk brand, who in Mel’s words “wore a bikini and ran in slow motion along the beach drinking a Big M  … I thought that was the pinnacle.”

She also loved singing and dancing, but by the end of her schooldays she had given up her dreams of showbiz “due to a lack of talent and too much common sense”.

Instead, with a huge curiosity about people, she threw herself into studying psychology at university, then landed her first job in child protective services.

Mel recalled in 2020: “It was really really confronting, frontline work … I was in my early 20s, knocking on people’s doors to take their children away, with a couple of burly coppers behind me.

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The star was loved for her role on Married at First SightCredit: Married at First Sight
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Before her death, the mum-of-one was open about her battle with cancerCredit: Shutterstock
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Mel joined dating site eHarmony, and in 2011, connected with businessman Gareth BrisbaneCredit: Instagram
“I was not prepared, and I burned out really quickly.”

So she moved into the corporate world, working with bosses to improve their relationships with staff and customers.

Best of all, she got to wear power suits: “They were sexy.”

But she continued to be involved in amateur musical theatre, and even occasionally landed tiny one-episode roles in Aussie TV dramas – including playing a nurse in Neighbours in 2007.

Meanwhile, she casually dated “bad boys, commitment-phobes and Peter Pan types” but was not interested in anything serious.

She said: “I was very much living the Sex and the City lifestyle and saw myself through that lens: single and fabulous.”

Love was only in the air at work, where she noticed that after her corporate sessions, participants would ask her for dating advice: “And I thought, ‘This is something I’m very interested in.’”

So she started being a dating coach, and had her big TV break in 2010, when at a cousin’s wedding she got chatting to the producer of Australia’s version of Loose Women, called The Circle.

Mel was invited on as a guest expert to talk about relationships, and kept being asked to come back.

It was then she decided that if she was going to be a good dating expert, she had to try dating seriously herself.

Mel joined dating site eHarmony, and in 2011, aged 39, connected with businessman Gareth Brisbane, who was the same age.

He was from Whitehead near Belfast but was living in Adelaide, nine hours’ drive from Melbourne, so for the first six weeks all they did was text.

Then Mel thought: ‘I’ll chance it – I really like this guy, I’ll call him.”

She had not counted on his accent: “Do you think I could understand a word that came out of his mouth? No I could not.

“I said to him, ‘I’m so sorry. We’re going to have to go back to texting until we meet in person.’ So we did.”

Luckily, when they did meet face to face she found the accent easier to understand.

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The relationship expert had bravely opened up about her cancer diagnosisCredit: INSTAGRAM/Mel Schilling
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Tributes have poured in for the beloved starCredit: Instagram/mel_schilling1
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Beloved daughter Maddie was born in November 2015Credit: Instagram
And by then, they were already falling in love.

Gareth had a grown-up daughter from a previous marriage, and Mel had no desire for a child of her own: “I didn’t have a maternal bone in my body.”

So they set about planning a future of travelling, spending big and enjoying themselves: “The world was our oyster.”

Then after a “long and boozy day at the races” in Melbourne, 40-year-old Mel amazed herself by blurting out to Gareth that she feared that if she did not have a baby with him, he might stop loving her.

She then stopped taking the Pill just to see what would happen: “Bang! I was pregnant. I think it took about ten minutes. And not ready at all.”

It was 12 weeks before she “started to feel hopeful and happy about it” and finally went out to the shops to buy her first bit of baby kit.

The day afterwards, she had a miscarriage: “It was the most shocking wave of grief.”

But she now knew she did truly want a child.

They tried for a baby for a year – “We even started calling the bed the workbench” – before beginning IVF.

Beloved daughter Maddie was born in November 2015.

During her pregnancy, Mel along with the rest of Australia was transfixed by the first series of Married At First Sight.

The show had three relationship experts who paired up couples and tried to set them on the path to true love, and Gareth kept telling her: “You should be doing that.”

So Mel contacted the show’s producer, who agreed to a “clandestine meeting in a wine bar in Sydney – it was so undercover.”

But the producer was impressed and when one of the existing experts stepped away after the first series, Mel found herself on one of the country’s biggest shows.

She was an instant hit, and the one-time stage hopeful realised she had found the job she was born for: “It’s the perfect combination of psychology and performance.”

Her warmth and enthusiasm also won over fans when she mirrored her role in the UK version from 2021.

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During her pregnancy, Mel was transfixed by the first series of Married At First SightCredit: Instagram/mel_schilling1
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Married at First Sight UK experts Charlene Douglas, Mel Schilling and Paul C. BrunsonCredit: Channel 4
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Mel tied the knot with partner Gareth on December 24, 2020Credit: Instagram/mel_schilling1
Then there was her no-nonsense Aussie attitude.

In 2023 viewers watched gleefully as the blood drained from a young stud’s face when she asked: “So tell me, Dan, in getting to know Sandy which of her interests did you dive in to explore and try to understand?”

Meanwhile, her own love life was idyllic.

In 2017 she, Gareth and little Maddie moved to the Indonesian island of Bali, where the couple unofficially tied the knot the following year in a lavish “commitment ceremony”.

They then wed formally in Melbourne at the end of 2020.

Mel later admitted: “I had a bit of a cry on the day. It’s just the meaning of it all. I was a late bloomer in life.”

In 2021 the family set up home in Brighton, East Sussex, then moved to London two years later, with Mel flying back to Australia for filming.

She and Gareth now seemed to have the perfect life, complete with a home in the capital with a swimming pool and plenty of room for Mel’s huge shoe collection.

And their love only grew: “We’re meant to be together for the rest of our lives. We are a correct pairing. We’re right together.”

The only occasional regret was that they had not met earlier in their lives: “But we don’t dwell on that. We’ve got another 40 or 50 years.”

However, back in Australia for MAFS in late 2023, Mel realised something was not right.

She said later: “I developed severe stomach cramps on set. I put it down to all the travel I’d been doing.”

But after a few weeks of filming in agony, in November 2023 she finally went to a Sydney GP: “He put it down to constipation, gave me some laxatives and sent me on my way.”

Back in London she made an appointment to see a gastroenterologist, but not immediately: first she wanted to go to a birthday party in Dublin.

She said later: “That’s how deluded I was.”

When she did finally get to the specialist, in December 2023, she was told that her bowel was completely blocked by a cancerous tumour.

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The love guru had more than 20 years of experience in human behavioural performanceCredit: Shutterstock
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Before her death, the mum-of-one was open about her battle with cancerCredit: Getty
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She told fans she underwent 16 rounds of chemotherapy followed by radiotherapy during filming for MAFSCredit: Shutterstock
Mel recalled: “I just completely disassociated.”

Surgeons removed the lemon-sized growth – which she dubbed Terry – and the TV favourite got the all-clear.

But just months later, in February 2024, cancerous nodules were found in her lungs.

She underwent gruelling rounds of chemotherapy which sometimes left her so weak she felt she could not be a proper mum to Maddie: “I remember one time, she came running into my bedroom to show me a dance that she’d made up – chip off the old block.

“But I didn’t even have the energy to watch her dance and that just broke my heart, because we bond over things like that, and I just couldn’t.”

But she kept on filming MAFS UK: “There was a big dose of denial in there. An unwillingness to accept it was happening to me because my self-image is all about health and strength.”

By the end of 2024 she was in remission and declared her ambition to be a contestant on Strictly Come Dancing the following year.

Instead, by the time the glitterball was back on screens, so was her cancer.

Initially she hoped a ground-breaking clinical trial due to start in March 2026, specific to her gene type, would be her lifeline: “Once again, my optimism soared that I might beat this thing.”

But over Christmas 2025, she later wrote on Instagram: “I began experiencing blinding headaches and numbness down my right side.

“After many tests, I was told the cancer had spread to the left side of my brain and, despite subsequent radiotherapy sessions, my oncology team have now told me there is nothing further they can do.”

She continued in the message posted on March 12, 2026: “Hearing those words changes everything.

“My light is starting to fade – and quickly. But I am still here, still fighting, and surrounded by the most incredible love.

“Simple tasks have become incredibly difficult, and I am relying on my beautiful family to look after me.

“I honestly don’t know how long I have left, but I do know I will fight to my last breath and will be surrounded by the love and support of my people.”

She added: “If I could leave you with one thing, it would simply be this: if something doesn’t feel right, please get it checked out. It might just save your life.”

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Mel was the lead relationship expert on Married At First Sight in both the UK and Australia.Credit: Getty
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Channel 4 hailed Mel as a friend who ‘radiated joy, warmth and optimism’Credit: Instagram/mel_schilling1